


No One To Blame

by Ravvi



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Nightmares, Other, PTSD, Rape Recovery, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans, Underswap Undyne - Freeform, Undyne is unintentionally a bit of a jerk..., baby spiders, mild depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 13:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10899984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravvi/pseuds/Ravvi
Summary: A continuation ofDon't Mind My Messy Parlour





	1. Mission Impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stretch gets an unexpected visitor.

The caves around the edges of Snowdin were dimly lit, encircled by rough, stone walls that glittered with frost and curtains of icicles.  The trees that grew out here were stunted, warped by the thin soil and thinner psuedo-sunlight.  Their twisted branches barely reached Stretch’s shoulders as he plodded forward, paying almost no attention to where he was going.  The slow, automatic movement helped him think, and gave his tired brain something to do besides stare at the ceiling and wait for sleep that never seemed to come.

Suppressing a yawn, Stretch ambled along, mind ticking over the broken machine in the basement of his house.  Years ago, it had been one of the reasons he'd bought the property, despite the ridiculous price that the seller had asked for.  Such a weird piece of machinery...it was like a puzzle that was just itching to be solved.  He’d always been mechanically inclined, good with hands-on puzzles and repair work despite how badly he’d done in school.  And now, with no desire to leave the house during the day and no ability to sleep through most of the night, he’d found himself with a daunting amount of free time.  Free time that he gladly filled by tinkering with the huge pile of metal, circuits and mystery.

The problem was that he had no idea what the machine was supposed to do.  There were notes and scraps of journals written in an illegible scrawl that Blue had read for him, but they were incomplete and written in stupid riddles.  The machine itself wasn't much better.  He’d spent the last several weeks crawling all over the tall structure with a multimeter and a battery, trying to see if he could get something to move, light up, or even burn out.  Unfortunately, nothing had worked and now he was back to square one.  He supposed it was possible that it didn’t run on electricity, but if that was the case, then what…

Stretch started when his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket.  Fumbling and breathing a little harder than the slight scare really warranted, he pulled it out, studying the screen as the repeated vibration tickled his phalanges.  _5:01 AM, bro calling,_ the caller ID said.

 “’Sup?” Stretch answered, sitting down in the snow against the cave wall.

 “Hello brother!  Where are you?” came Blue’s voice.  Stretch winced at the overly-casual tone, which might as well have screamed that his brother was worried.  Oops.

 “Just out, everything’s fine,” Stretch quickly reassured him.

 “Out?  Out where?  When will you get back?  Have you taken your medications?  Did you get something to eat?  Have you taken a shower?”  There was a rush of quick, muffled footsteps, presumably as Blue ran to the bathroom to see if the shower had been used that morning.  “YOU DID NOT TAKE A SHOWER, BROTHER!”

 “Uh…” Stretch winced, holding his phone at arm’s length.  “I can head back now, I guess. I was just taking a walk.  I’m not that far away, I just…heh, lost _trek_ of the time.”

 “Oh!  You’re taking a walk?  That’s great, the doctors say walking is good-“ Blue broke off with an exaggerated groan as he realized the pun.  “Ohhh, that’s it.  You are SO getting tacos for breakfast.”

 “Nooooo,” Stretch mock-groaned, pressing his free hand to his chest.  “I can’t _stomach_ the thought!  Variety is the _spice_ of life, you know.”

 “Your pleas hold little weight when they are spoken in puns,” Blue told him gravely. “And besides, you don’t have a stomach.”

 “Aww, come on, _lettuce_ _taco_ ‘bout it.”

 “I REFUSE TO BE PUNNED AT OVER THE PHONE BEFORE BREAKFAST!” Blue declared fiercely.  “And besides, that one is so old that it has mold growing on it.  Which makes it unsanitary.  And unhealthy.  Unlike my tacos.”

“If you say so.  I think it kinda breaks the _mold_ myself.  See ‘ya at home bro,” Stretch chuckled.

“YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE!!  See you soon!” Blue screeched, then hung up the phone.

 Stretch stood and dusted the snow off of the seat of his pants.  His grin slipped a little as he looked over the undersized forest around him, and his trail of footsteps winding off into the distance. He didn't really want to go home. Not yet.  It was so peaceful out here, with everything tucked beneath a soft, white blanket that weighed down the branches of the trees and smoothed the ground into a pristine cover. Pensively, he brushed the white powder off of a tree-branch, watching as the needles sprung upright the second the weight was removed.  Huh...weird. It didn't look like the cover was actually that heavy.

 His phone buzzed once in his pocket, probably with a text-message from Blue.  With a small sigh, Stretch released the branch and began walking back to town, following the footprints he’d already pressed into the snow.

 

 

===

 

 Home was the usual whirlwind of Blue sitting him down and pushing food in front of him (pancakes, not tacos), pushing his medications in front of him (anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds), extracting a promise out of him to take a shower sometime that day (half-heartedly) and keeping up a constant chatter that Stretch largely listened to without much response.

 “…and have you seriously started picking the clothes up off your floor by _wearing_ them all?” Blue asked him incredulously.

"Huh?" Stretch asked, looking up from his largely-unfinished pancakes.

 "Your _clothes_.  You're wearing so many that you look homeless," Blue replied with exasperation.

 Stretch ran a gloved finger defensively around the collar of his shirt.  “Hey, it’s _cold_ out there,” he said jokingly, hoping Blue would drop the matter.

“Cold enough to wear _four_ layers of clothing _indoors_?”

 Stretch looked down at himself.  Technically, he was wearing five, but Blue couldn’t see the undershirt under the end of the grey scarf wound tightly around his neck.  “I just like it this way,” he mumbled, taking another mouthful of pancake that he suddenly didn’t want.

 “But you look so uncomfortable!  At least take off the gloves and scarf, I’ll go turn the heat on, ok?” Blue called, already running off to adjust the thermostat.  Stretch scowled and stripped off the offending garments, stuffing them pointedly into the pocket of his coat.  He kind of felt like reminding his brother that the cold didn’t bother him, but that would lead to a whole mess of conversations that he didn’t even want to think about. 

“I’ll be back at the usual time and I’ll keep my phone on like always,” Blue called from down the hall over the thrum of the furnace kicking into gear.  “Anything I can get you while I’m out?”

 “Cigarettes and moonshine,” Stretch called back cheerfully.

 “Did I hear you say ‘steamed vegetables and motivational posters?  Yes, of course dear brother, what thoughtful choices!”  Blue reappeared, beaming at him.  “See you later!”

 He gave Stretch a brief, gentle hug that Stretch lightly returned.

"Love you!" Blue called with a cheerful wave as he walked out the door.

 Stretch waited a moment, then pulled his gloves back on and wound the scarf tightly around his neck, feeling a bit better as the fabric pressed against his bones.  With a twinge of guilt, he swept the rest of his pancakes into the trash and dropped the plate into the sink.

 The house always felt hollow without Blue around.  Stretch tried to ignore it as stepped outside and walked around back to the basement and the machine waiting inside.

 “Ooookay…” he whispered to himself, staring at the pile of tools, scraps, and miscellaneous parts surrounding the body of the machine.  He fished a notebook out of the mess, then flipped through it, hoping for ideas.  These were his personal notes, mostly detailed pictures and diagrams with only a few, painstakingly printed words for reference.  He pretty much had the whole machine sketched down here by now, but there were still a few things…

Stretch wiggled underneath the machine with a flashlight and a pencil-stub, until he came to a set of circuit boards he’d only recently discovered.  He copied them down with diligent attention, losing himself in the calm challenge of transferring what he saw onto paper.

He finished the drawing, then set his pencil down, switched off the flashlight, and kneaded his eyesockets with gloved fingers.  Ugh, he hadn’t gotten ANY sleep last night, and his mind was choosing NOW to remind him of that.  Apparently, sleeping at night like a normal person wasn't something his mind wanted to do anymore.  Noooo, that would just be way too convenient.  It had to wait until he was actually trying to do something productive before flipping his 'night-night' switch.

Well, whatever.  Stretch crawled out from under the machine and curled up on his side next to a pile of wrenches, flipping slowly through his notebook as his eyes drifted closed.  The heavy clothes he was wearing were more than enough to cushion his body against the hardness of the concrete floor, and the coolness seeping into his side felt nice…

 

===

_“You’re making this harder on yourself.”_

 

_He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.  She wouldn’t be able to find him if he wasn’t breathing, it was very important to keep holding his breath.  He had to hold it, couldn’t let her know…_

 

_“You said you would help me.  You’re a liar.”_

 

_If he held perfectly still, she wouldn’t be able to find him.  If he didn’t breathe, then-_

 

**_“FOUND YOU.”_ **

_Something pounced on him, pinning him in place._

 

_“No…” he whimpered, fear slamming through his mind as hard fingers twisted his arms and legs away from his body.  He couldn’t get away, couldn’t get away-_

 

_”ENOUGH.”_

 

_Stretch screamed as his limbs were wrenched free of their sockets, leaving him truly unable to move as-_

“HNNGH-OW!! FUCK!” Stretch spat as he jerked upright and his forehead slammed into a jutting piece of machinery.  Spitting curses and holding his head, he rolled to his feet, staggered a few steps away, then leaned heavily against the wall.  He panted raggedly for a couple seconds before swallowing hard, letting his breath slow down to a more normal pace.  After a few, calm moments, he chuckled softly to himself.

 “She’s going to find me if I start breathing again?” he scoffed, gingerly rubbing his forehead.  The hell?  His mind made no sense.

Stretch pushed away from the wall with a soft groan, shaking a bit as he came down from the adrenaline high.  Ugh, it felt like he’d barely gotten any sleep at all.  What time was it anyway?  He patted through his pockets for his phone, then groaned aloud when he came up empty.  Oops, he must have left it on the kitchen table.  Blue was going to _kill_ him if he’d missed a call.

Moving quickly, Stretch locked the basement and walked back to the front of the house, shoes scrunching lightly in the snow.  He started up the front steps, then froze when a soft whimper came up from the ground near his feet.

Slowly, he looked down.

 A tiny bundle of purple and white-striped clothing was shivering in the snow, pressed tightly into the narrow, protected space between the porch and the steps.  It had three pairs of arms, little, blue-skinned hands, and a mop of black hair drawn back into two neat pigtails.

Holy...

Stretch dimly felt his knees buckle and drop him hard into the snow as he stared at the monster under the stairs, unable to look away.  She hadn't noticed him yet, and maybe if he stood very, very still...

As he watched, a small, blue face lifted out of the bundle, lips purple from the cold.  The little monster stared up at him for a moment, minute fangs glittering as her teeth chattered.  Then, her face scrunched up and she let out a low, terrified wail, all six arms pressed tight to her sides.

 Stretch started, then suddenly realized that something was pulling hard on his magic.  He looked up and saw a salvo of blasters in the air above him, bifurcated jaws parted and feline eyesockets glittering dangerously.  Swearing, he quickly tore them down, shaking at how close he'd come to firing.  This wasn't Muffet, she wasn't going to hurt him.  Stars, this was a  _baby_ , she _couldn't_ hurt him.  What the fuck was wrong with him?  It had been almost four months now since all the bad things had happened, why was he still acting like it had happened yesterday?

The little spider monster stared at him pleadingly with huge, overbright eyes.  “Co-o-o-o-o-o-old,” she moaned, shivering so hard that she could barely say the word.

Oh shit, he had to get her inside.  She was going to freeze to death if she stayed out here much longer.

“Ok, ok, ok...hooooo boy.  Here we go,” Stretch muttered, walking over to her.  Hesitantly, he knelt, then very, very carefully scooped her up with shaking hands.  She immediately latched onto the front of his jacket, gripping the fabric with strength that was startling for her size.  Stretch flinched, breathing hard as he swallowed loudly and carefully tucked one hand underneath her.  This was fine, everything was fine, he could do this, this wasn't so bad.

"Are you ok?" he asked cautiously, walking up the steps and inside the front door.

“COOOOOOOLD!!!” she howled, tears pouring down her tiny face as she began wailing in earnest.  Stretch looked down at her in shock, completely unsure what to do.

“Shhh, it’s ok.  Don’t cry...” he said awkwardly.  That must have been the wrong thing to say because the tiny monster immediately howled even louder, body shaking under Stretch’s fingers so hard he was a little worried she was going to hurt herself.  Oh shit, help, help, help…

"Come on, come on...” he muttered fervently, fumbling one-handed for his phone.  Somehow, he managed to dial the right number and connect the call.  Blue picked up on the third ring.

“Get over here now, I need your help.  One of the kids was outside,” he said immediately.

There was a soft ‘pop’ of displaced air and Blue teleported in the living room, still holding his phone to the side of his head.

“Oh no!” Blue gasped, rushing to Stretch’s side.  The child sniffled and hid her face against the front of Stretch's jacket as he approached, little shoulders shaking with loud sobs.  “Shhhh, it’s ok, don’t cry.”

Stretch winced as the wailing somehow increased in volume.  Holy hell, how was something so small able to make so much noise?!  Blue froze, arms outstretched as though he was about to offer to take the little monster from his brother, staring at the screaming child with panicked indecision.

“Don’t just stand there, go turn the heat up,” Stretch shouted at him over the crying.  Blue started, then sprinted for the thermostat.  Stretch watched him go, then looked down at the sobbing child in his arms. Talking was obviously a bad idea, but maybe...

Awkwardly, he held his free hand out to the side, then tentatively placed it behind the little monster's back and began bouncing her lightly like he’d seen someone do with a baby in a movie.  Her cries immediately quieted to soft whimpers as she buried her face into his clothing, smearing tears and snot across the front of his jacket.  Stretch stared down at her, hesitant, but completely transfixed.  He could remember how tiny the infants had been when they'd hatched, but his memory of that time was dim and painful.  How could she still be so small?  Her entire body was no longer than one of his forearms, and her hands were so minute they'd barely be able to wrap around one of his thumbs.  How the hell had she gotten here all the way from Hotland?  There was no way she'd made it by herself…

An awful thought occurred to him and he froze, staring out the window with sudden horror.  Spider monsters were extremely vulnerable to the cold, and if she'd been traveling with others who were still out there...

“Hey kiddo." he said softly, prying her away from his jacket.  She hiccupped, chin wobbling as she stared up at him with huge, amber eyes.  Stretch shivered for a moment, entire body tensing as his mind superimposed another, older face onto hers.  Holy fuck, she had Muffet's eyes, they were the _exact_ same colour.  "Listen to me for a second, this is important,” he said, voice cracking a little as he forced his tone to stay calm.  “Did you come here with other people?  Other kids?”

She nodded, agonized guilt playing across her little face.  Stretch suddenly wondered if she'd been the leader of this little expedition, and whether her caretakers back in Hotland knew about it.  He felt irrationally irritated at them for a second for not being more watchful, then pushed the emotion aside.

“How many?”

Shaking, she held up two hands, each with two fingers extended.

“Four others?"

She nodded again.  "F-f-f-four," she hiccupped, rubbing her nose with her sleeve.

"Gotcha.  Thanks for telling me, we'll go get them out of the cold” he said.  She nodded a third time and snuggled into his jacket, burying her face in his armpit with a hitched sigh.  “Bro?”

“I heard,” Blue said, already heading out the door.  Stretch watched him go, gently bouncing the little monster still clinging to his chest.  He looked down at her, hesitantly wondering whether he should find a place to put her down.  She'd stopped shivering and was sitting quietly against him, breathing softly.  With a start, he realized that she'd fallen asleep.

The sudden silence was deafening.

“Ooookay…” Stretch whispered to the empty room.

 

Okay...

 

…

 

Now what?


	2. Excuses, Excuses...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Stretch is hard on himself.

Stretch took a deep breath, trying to will his legs to stop shaking.  He hadn’t noticed how keyed up he’d gotten earlier, but it must have been bad.  His adrenaline high was quickly fading, leaving him shaking, light-headed, and dripping with cold, sticky sweat.

The little spider monster stirred in his arms and he started, looking down uncertainly at the top of her head.  He could set her down now, right?  The couch was right there, and now that she was calm and somewhere warm, he didn’t _have_ to keep holding the tiny, Muffet clone.

Stretch managed to walk into the living room, feeling dazed as he gently began to uncurl the child’s fingers from his clothing.  She grumbled sleepily, gripping his jacket tightly with her remaining hands and snuggling deeper into his side.

“Oh, come on,” Stretch muttered, firmly pulling her hands away.  He got to the last one, began to set her down, then groaned aloud when he saw that she’d re-gripped his clothes with her first set of hands while he’d been busy with the other four.  

Ugh, _fine_. Tiny Muffet clone wanted his jacket?  She could have it.

Moving carefully, he wiggled out of the jacket, then set the piece of clothing with its newly attached spider baby onto the couch.  The little monster started awake the second she was set down, blinking up at him with bleary confusion.

“Just…stay there,” Stretch told her, backing away.  “Blue will take care of you.”

“Nooooooo, not stay,” she whimpered, hugging his jacket tight to her chest. “YOU stay!”

“I…n-no, I can’t, I’m sorry, but I _can’t-_ ” Stretch choked.  His back collided with a wall and he jumped, then swallowed hard.  “Blue will be back soon, just STAY THERE, ok?”

The little monster’s face scrunched up and she sniffed hard.  “Nooooooo,” she sobbed, holding her upper-most set of hands out to him as tears began to run down the sides of her already tear-streaked face.  "N-not stay, not ok!"

“Sorry, I…just…sorry,” Stretch whispered, scooting around to the door, then groping for the doorknob with shaking fingers.

Out.  He needed to get OUT.

Somehow, Stretch managed to keep himself walking at a normal pace for as long as it took to get to the edge of town before breaking into a run.  The ankle-deep snow hindered his progress, making him fight for every step as his feet broke the crust and sank in.  He ignored it, clenching his jaw as he pushed himself on.  Further, faster, just keep going…

Bit by bit, the tight knot in his chest loosened.  He looked up, and found himself in front of the giant door that marked the boundary between Snowdin and the ruins.  Stretch slowed, then staggered to a stop, gasping for breath as he pressed his hands to his knees.  After a moment, he straightened, grimacing as his sweat-soaked clothes clung stiffly to his frame.  Jogging in five (well, four) layers definitely had drawbacks, but he felt immensely better now that he was away from the house.  The heavy exercise had left his bones pleasantly heavy, and quieted the shrill, unsteady sense of panic clawing at his mind.  He took a deep breath, then let it out, sighing as the quiet scents of pine and damp earth filled the air.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. 

“Ghaaaa-“ he grumbled, then reluctantly pulled it out and looked at the screen.

Bro: _Tried to call you but you didn’t pick up.  WHERE ARE YOU??!!!_

Well, glad he’d looked at THAT.  Stretch dropped it back into his pocket, then scowled when it immediately buzzed again.  He took a step toward the door, then made a strangled sound when it buzzed a third time.  Impulsively, he tore it out of his pocket, flung it across the road, then immediately felt stupid when the little device disappeared into the snow. 

Damn it, that was going to take FOREVER to find.

With a quiet groan, Stretch pressed his back to the door, then slid down the smooth stone until his legs gave out and dropped him into the snow with a soft thump.  Poor Blue was stuck dealing with five, bawling spider kids on his own, and he’d disappeared because…

Stretch didn’t finish that thought, quietly burying his face in his knees.  Space.  He’d just get some space, then he’d go home. 

There was a gentle knock on the door behind him.  Stretch started, then looked over his shoulder with a small smile. 

“Wh-“ Stretch’s voice cracked and he broke off to clear his throat. “Who’s there?”

“Deja,” the voice replied.

“Deja who?”

“Knock knock.”

Stretch snorted.  “Could have sworn I heard that one before,” he quipped.

The voice behind the door laughed loudly, a deep, rich sound that always left Stretch imagining someone tall and portly, like the pictures of Santa Claus he’d seen in books from the surface.  “Ah, I missed your sense of humour.  How are you, my friend?” the voice asked.

“I’m ok,” Stretch automatically replied.  “You?”

“I am well, though I was a little worried about you.  You haven’t been here for so long, I was beginning to wonder whether something had happened to you.”

“Oh…well,” Stretch began uncomfortably.  “I…” he trailed off.  He didn’t want to outright _lie,_ but stars, where did he even _begin-_

“Oh dear.  Something did happen?  Are you all right?” the voice asked, suddenly filled with concern.

“I…” Stretch pressed the heels of his hands into his suddenly burning eyesockets.  “Yeah, I’m ok.”

“Hmmm,” the voice mused softly.  “Perhaps my old ears are fooling me, but you do not sound ok.  Do you not wish to speak about it?  I understand if that is the case.”

Stretch laughed a little.  “It’s a super long story,” he finally said lamely.  “But it’s not that.  I…I kinda bailed on my bro.  He’s probably really worried about me,” Stretch grimaced, then forced himself to continue.  “And he's got good reason to because I got kidnapped and went missing for a week a couple months ago.  And-“ Stretch sniffed hard, rubbing his hand across his damp eyesockets with a frustrated growl.  “Goddammit, I’m such a terrible brother.”

The voice behind the door was silent for a long moment.  “Kidnapped?  Oh my.  No wonder you haven’t been around.”

Stretch laughed weakly, hugging his knees to his chest.  “Sorry, yeah.  I should have come out here sooner.  I just…” Excuses flickered through his mind.  He’d been busy, it was a long walk, he had trouble being around other people without freaking out now.  None of them seemed adequate.  “Sorry,” he finally muttered.

“You have nothing to apologize for, I’m glad that you are all right.”

“Thanks, I’m-“ Stretch broke off before he could apologize again.  “I still kinda feel bad though.  It’s been months since then and I…I don’t know WHY but it’s just so much harder to do things now.  I can’t go out in public without feeling _scared_ the whole time, and I haven’t talked to Undyne in forever even though she sent me a bunch of get-well-soon stuff, and my bro’s been,” Stretch took a deep shaky breath.  “He’s been so nice, but I feel like something’s _w-_ _wrong_ with me and I c-can’t keep DOING this…”

“Oh, my friend,” the voice said softly over Stretch’s thin sob.  “It sounds to me like you still need time to heal.”

“And what, be like THIS the entire time?” Stretch sniffed, making a frustrated gesture at his over-clothed body.  “Nobody likes being around people who are sad all the damn time.  I’d just be a stupid, useless burden and S-sans…he d-doesn’t deserve to have m-me drag him d-down…”

“From what you’ve told me of your brother, he doesn’t see you as a burden.  I bet he wants to help you, even though you’re a bit hard to be around sometimes,” the voice said soothingly.  “Sometimes the hardest thing to do is be patient with yourself, and keep believing that things will get better.  Go easy on yourself, my friend.”

Stretch scoffed at the words, but didn’t argue.  ‘Go easy on himself?’  That sounded like a stupid excuse to be useless and lazy without having to worry about how he was affecting other people.

“You should tell him all of this,” the voice continued.  “If he’s anything like…one of my old friends, then he’s holding back something as well.  Promise me that you’ll try?”

Stretch quailed.  _Tell_ Blue all of his stupid insecurities?  What would that do for anyone except prove that he really was a messed-up piece of garbage?

“Ok.  I’ll try, I guess,” Stretch replied quietly, “I should probably head back.”

“Of course.  As always, it’s been a pleasure.”

===

The lights overhead that simulated daylight had dimmed by the time Stretch found his phone and got back to the house.  He walked up the steps and was about to open the door when he heard Blue’s voice loudly from the other side.

“…guilty about it.  I know it wasn’t my fault, but…”

He paused, and Stretch realized his brother must be talking on the phone.

“I know, I know, I…I just get so _worried_.  What if something like that is happening again and I could keep it from happening if I just…?  Yeah, Alphys, I remember that you were there too, but it’s _different_ when it’s your brother and all you can do is hold his hand and watch him _suffer like that…_ ”

Oh god, was Blue actually crying? 

“Ok…ok, yeah.  Yeah, that makes sense.  I’ll wait until dark to start looking for him.  Thanks for listening to me vent.  Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

Stretch’s phone felt heavy in his pocket, and he felt a sudden flash of guilt when he realized that he hadn’t even checked the messages Blue had left him.  Damn it, he really was the world’s worst brother.  With a miserable sigh, Stretch pulled his arms around himself, looking back over the town.  He badly wanted to just sneak inside and have everything be ok, like being quiet would somehow put him in another universe where Blue wasn’t worried about him and he hadn’t screwed up by running off when he was supposed to be helping-

The door clicked open and Stretch jumped, watching guiltily as his brother pushed the door outward.  Blue looked up, then double-took when he saw Stretch standing on the doorstep.

“Heya-“ Stretch began, then broke off with a surprised grunt when Blue lunged forward, wrapping him in a tight hug.

“I am so happy you’re ok,” Blue choked, then pulled back with a watery smile.  “The kids are gone.  I found them all and their guardians came and picked them up.  Do you want dinner?”

“I…” Stretch suddenly realized that he’d had nothing more than half a pancake all day.  “Yeah, dinner sounds great.”

===

Blue hadn’t made anything yet and Stretch was absolutely hopeless in the kitchen, so leftovers it was.  They sat at opposite ends of the kitchen table, eating off of the plates that Blue had insisted on using.  It was almost painfully quiet.  Blue looked deep in thought and every time Stretch thought of something to say, he immediately discarded it as too stupid or shallow to bother with, choosing instead to mechanically shovel lukewarm ground beef and bits of taco shell into his mouth

“They were all so small,” Blue finally said, staring down at his food.  “That really surprised me.”

Stretch said nothing, pulling his hands into his sleeves and curling his fingers around the material.  His jacket was still lying on the couch where he’d abandoned it.  The edges had been bunched up into a flat, bowl shape, making it look like a nest for a child-sized bird.

“I’m going to start visiting them.”

Stretch’s head snapped up.  “What?!  Why??”

“Because they want to get to know us.  Well, they want to get to know YOU, but…well, maybe this way they won’t try to walk here through the snow again.  Besides, it isn’t fair to keep ignoring them.  Look at what already happened!  The poor things almost died out there,” Blue sighed, then looked up wearily.  “I already made up my mind, brother.  I just didn’t want to do it behind your back.”

Stretch stared at him, at a complete loss for what to say.  It wasn’t that what Blue was saying didn’t make sense.  In fact, now that he was thinking about it, he was surprised Blue hadn’t done something like this sooner.  But…

“You don’t have to come with me or…or do anything.” Blue continued with a halfhearted shrug.  “Like I said, I just wanted you to know.  And, uh…I get it if you think I’m being too overprotective.  Really, I do.  But... _please don’t run off like that,_ ok?  Or at least send me a text saying you’re ok and you just need some space,” he looked up at Stretch, eyelights dim and smile just a touch forced.  “Please, Pappy?”

“Yeah.  Sure bro,” Stretch finally said in a small voice.  “Sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Blue replied, just as quietly.

Awkward silences.  Damn, he would send Blue a million texts in the future just to avoid these forever.

It was a mark of how tired Blue was that the dishes ended up in the sink without getting washed and they both ended up sprawled across the couch watching crappy Napstablook re-runs instead of going directly to bed at 9:00 PM.  Stretch was finding it hard to interest himself in the robot’s antics, but sitting there with Blue was nice.

“Why did you run off?”  Blue finally asked sleepily. 

Stretch stiffened, then jumped a little when he felt Blue gently rub the back of his hand.  He looked down and realized that his phalanges were digging into the couch cushions so hard that the old fabric was about to split its seams.  Oops.

“I…” the image of those amber eyes came back to him, so sharp and clear it was like they were right in front of him.  “She looked _exactly_ like her.  I mean…younger, but,” Stretch swallowed, feeling tears well up behind his eyesockets.  Goddammit, hadn’t he cried enough today?  “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking.  I didn’t mean to leave you dealing with all of them by yourself.”

Blue rubbed small circles onto the back of Stretch’s hand, fingers clinking softly over each metacarpal.  “It was fine.  They warmed up pretty quickly, and it only took half an hour or so for their guardians to come pick them up.  The one who looked like Muffet was named Chia.  She wanted to keep your jacket.”

Stretch laughed a little at that.  “Not sure how you convinced her to let go of it.  She wouldn’t do it for me,” he said.

“We bribed her with lollipops,” Blue admitted.  "She really likes the red ones."

The night stretched on, but this time, the silence seemed a lot more comfortable.  Blue somehow ended up lying halfway across Stretch’s lap, fast asleep and snoring quietly into the couch cushions.  Stretch switched off the TV, not feeling especially tired, but not wanting to get up and wake Blue either. 

Chia, huh?  And his brother wanted to visit her and the rest of the kids?  Stretch sighed, wearily beating down that tight, panicky feeling he got whenever he thought about Muffet or the result of his imprisonment and violation.  He was getting really tired of feeling that way.

Maybe this would be a good way to help his brother instead of being lazy and useless.  Before everything had happened, Stretch had spent most of his time working, earning the money that he and his brother needed to pay their bills and buy groceries.  After he'd been let out of the hospital, Queen Toriel had quietly granted him a stipend that more than covered their needs, so he couldn’t really help that way anymore.

Maybe visiting the little Muffet clones would be a good way to repay Toriel for her kindness as well.  She loved children, and was well known for her projects to help the Underground's youth.

God, he really didn’t want to…

But if it was just for an hour or two…

He could last that long, right?

Still thinking, he leaned back against the couch cushions, taking in the quiet sounds of Blue breathing, the refrigerator humming in the kitchen, and the clock on the wall behind the couch ticking quietly.  He wasn’t anywhere close to falling asleep himself, but he was used to staring at the ceiling for long hours waiting to drift off anyway.  At least this time, he had company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story feels so calm and rambly to me. I mean...it's a good thing because that's kind of what I'm going for, but my brain keeps going 'hey, why isn't anyone being HORRIBLY TRAUMATISED???'
> 
> As always, comment away ^_^


	3. Exits are Located Above the Wings of the Plane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stretch finally makes up his mind (maybe).

Blue sat up drowsily, then looked down at himself with calm confusion.  Why was he still dressed in yesterday’s t-shirt?  And why was he sleeping on the couch instead of in his perfectly nice bed with its perfectly nice pillows?  Clumsily, he staggered upright with a wordless groan, then shook a mild cramp out of his right leg and looked around the room.  Shoes and socks on the floor, remote halfway between the couch and the television...ah.  He must have crashed with Pappy last night.  What time was it?  It felt early, but his sleep schedule was so out of whack that he didn’t trust his sense of time.  Yawning hugely, he stumbled across the carpet, palming his eyesockets as he made his way to the shower.  First things first, he-

Was something burning?

“Heya bro, you’re up early.”

Blue blinked once, staring incredulously into the kitchen.  All of his thought processes ground to a halt as he took in the sight of his brother standing over the stove, looking sheepishly down at a kettle of water.  The kettle was smoking.

“Brother,” Blue asked calmly.

“Yeah bro?”

“How did you manage to burn a kettle of water?” 

“I didn’t!  Well, I don’t think I did,” Stretch said, poking the kettle anxiously.  The smoke was getting thicker, how had it not set off-

The smoke alarm blared to life in its holder over the kitchen door with an earsplitting shriek.  Blue winced as the sound pierced through his sleep-deprived mind like a nail to the eyesocket.  Ah.  There we go.

Blue walked over, turned on the overhead fan to pacify the smoke alarm, then lifted the kettle off the fire.  On closer inspection, it was the outside of the kettle, and not the water itself, that was smoking.  Thank the stars.  Blue had been two seconds away from believing that his brother had somehow become so bad at cooking that he’d broken the laws of physics.

“It’s just got some food on the bottom,” Blue explained through a heavy yawn, handing the kettle back to Stretch and pointing.  “See?”

Stretch looked at the piece of cookware as though he was sure it was going to sprout fangs and bite him.  “How did THAT happen?” he muttered.

Blue eyed the stack of dirty dishes in the sink.  One of them had a circular print in the bits of left-over taco that looked exactly like the bottom of the kettle.

"No idea," Blue yawned, wincing as Stretch grabbed one of his nice dish-towels and began scrubbing at the offending material.  That was _definitely_ going to stain.  Should he say something?  Maybe he should...

“Uhhhh…” stars, his brain did NOT work well on less than eight solid hours of sleep.  “Shower...I’m going to go take a shower.  PLEASE don’t burn down the kitchen.”

“I’m not gonna burn anything down,” Stretch snorted.  He put the kettle back on the stove, then cranked the burner up to its highest setting.  Blue left quickly, intentionally NOT watching as his brother continued doing…whatever it was he was doing.  Working in a daze, he got the shower going as quickly as possible, then hopped in and put his face directly beneath the spray.  Ahhhh, much better.  He almost felt awake. 

The feeling quickly faded as he pulled on clean clothes and made his way downstairs.  Today was going to be rough...

“I made coffee,” Stretch told him as he walked back into the kitchen.  Miraculously, nothing had caught fire.

“Thanks,” Blue grumbled, accepting the cup and taking a sip.  His eyes immediately began to water as the bitter, burnt, and slightly acrid taste of brutally strong coffee scoured the inside of his mouth.

“Milk?” he gasped, trying not to sound like he was dying.  Stretch absently handed him the carton and Blue discreetly poured half the cup down the drain, then diluted the remaining mess with milk.  He tried it again, and managed to swallow without grimacing.  That was…bearable.

“So, I was thinking…” Stretch began, then trailed off, fingers wrapped around his own cup of untouched coffee.

“Yes?” Blue prompted him, taking another quick gulp from his mug.  If he drank it fast, then maybe…nope.  Still felt like the bone was peeling off the roof of his mouth. 

“When were you going…”

Blue frowned as Stretch trailed off again without finishing the sentence.  “When was I going…going to work?  In a few hours, I guess.  Alphys has some new strategy guides that she wants to go over with me.”

“No, not work,” Stretch sighed, staring down at his coffee cup with a miserable expression.  “To go see… _them_.”

“Them?  Who-“ the penny dropped.  “Oh, _them_?  You mean the kids?”

“YES, I mean the kids,” Stretch grumbled, then took a sip of coffee.  He choked, then thrust the mug away from himself with a revolted expression.  “ _HOLY…_ how do you _drink_ this shit bro?”

“Milk,” Blue answered drily, pushing the carton across the table. 

“Oh, so that’s why you did that,” Stretch grimaced, pouring half his cup down the drain, adding milk, and trying again.  He grimaced, but managed to take a sip.  “Aaak- that’s still awful.”

Blue snickered, then finished off the last of his mug in one, long pull.  Ah, caffeine.  It made the optimism happen.  “It wasn’t that bad,” he gasped through a slight grimace.  “Maybe don’t let it brew so long next time?”

“Yeah, maybe.  Undyne told me to do it for twenty minutes.”

Ah, that explained a lot.  “Trust me, five minutes would have been _plenty,_ ” Blue shuddered.  He’d seen Undyne make coffee once or twice.  The resulting liquid didn’t pour so much as it…oozed.

“Sorry,” Stretch grumbled, pushing his still-full cup into the sink.

“It's all right.  Later today?”

Stretch whipped around, looking a bit panicked, then took a deep breath.  “L-later today?  You’re going to go see the kids later today?”  He pulled his arms close to his chest and folded his fingers into his shirtsleeves.  

“Just a short visit, yeah,” Blue yawned.  “I, uh…kind of promised Chia that I would.  So that she would go home.” He laughed softly, looking up at his brother with an apologetic expression.  He hadn’t really _meant_ to make that promise, it had just sort of…slipped out?  For such a small monster, Chia could be quite insistent.  “Turns out all five of them live together.  I…I could tell you how it goes later if you want?” 

Blue looked up at him hopefully.  Would he want that?  His brother never seemed to want to talk about what happened, but maybe this would be different, something they could both talk about together?  That would be nice, to have something he didn't have to constantly tip-toe around.

Stretch was silent for a long moment, sitting completely still as he stared at his sleeve-covered hands.  Finally he looked up with a shaky sigh.

“I want to go with you,” he said quietly.

Blue stared at him.  “You want…what, really?  No joking?”

Stretch gave him a strained laugh.  “No...or yes?  I mean...well, I can go with you, right?  And then I can always leave early?  If it starts getting to me?  It’s not like I’d be stuck there.  You’d let me go back home?”

“Of course!” Blue said immediately, beaming up at his brother.  Internally, he was cheering.  This was _just_ the thing to get his brother start coming back out of his shell!  _Finally!_   “I can come pick you up at three ‘o clock, and we can head over there together!  They live in the capitol, but it isn’t too much of a walk from the Hotland ferry landing.  Sound like a plan?”

Stretch didn’t look quite as enthusiastic as Blue had hoped he’d be, but then, his brother hadn't looked very enthusiastic at all for the past several months.  At this point, he’d take what he could get.

“Yeah,” Stretch finally managed with a small smile.  “Three ‘o clock?  Sounds good.  I’ll be around.”

“EXCELLENT!” Blue beamed, leaning across the table to give Stretch a quick hug.  “Oh, this is going to be so much fun!”

“Yeah,” Stretch said again.  His voice sounded a little strained.  “Super fun.”

===

Stretch paced in his room, anxiously nibbling a paperclip he’d found lying on his desk.  Shit, what had he agreed to?  Maybe this was too soon…would Blue care if he chickened out?  He’d looked so happy when Stretch had agreed though, and he didn’t want to disappoint him…

Absently, Stretch reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the lollipops he’d crammed inside.  The cellophane wrapper crinkled against his fingers, quietly reminding him of the feel of spider-silk on his front and a heavy quilt wrapped around his legs.  With a deep, shuddering breath, he put it back, forcing the memories out of his head with a hard swallow.  Blue said they liked lollipops.  Stretch supposed that made sense.  He’d eaten a lot of them while they’d been…inside.

His computer pinged and Stretch immediately stopped pacing and looked at the screen.  _Finally._

                                _sciencefish95 is online._

 _sciencefish95:_ About time you messaged me back, you dork.  Did your bro like the coffee?

 

Ooooh boy…the ‘coffee.’  How to put this tactfully…Stretch spat the paperclip into his hand, then pulled his keyboard into the center of his desk.  Umm…

 

 _skelepun1000:_ He thought it was really strong.

 _sciencefish95:_ WHOOO!  That is a WIN in my book  >: D  How are you?

 

Stretch slipped the paperclip back into his mouth, then stared at the wall behind his computer screen for a moment.  _How are you._ He never really knew how to answer that question.  Most people didn’t really want to _know_ how he felt when they asked – it was just a polite thing to say.  And that made being honest – that he felt sick, anxious, and like he wanted to find someplace to hide, an impolite thing to say.  Besides, Undyne was a friend.  He didn’t need to dump all his baggage on her.

 

 _skelepun1000:_ I’m doing ok.

 _sciencefish95:_ Yeah right.

 

Stretch frowned, then shifted the paperclip to the side of his mouth.  Well, fine.  If she was going to be rude first…

 

 _skelepun1000:_ I’m nervous as hell because my bro’s going to visit the kids.  I’m going with, and it’s kind of making me feel sick, but it’s fine, I guess.  Everyone else seems ok.

 

Stretch hit the enter key a little harder than absolutely necessary.  There was a long pause.  Stretch waited, feeling increasingly guilty as time passed and he watched the cursor flash in the IM window. He definitely could have worded that better.  Dammit, he hadn’t answered Undyne’s IM’s for _months,_ and then the second he started talking to her again, he had to go and say something like _that_?  Ugh, he was an awful friend...

The computer finally pinged. 

 

 _sciencefish95:_ Oh…wow.  You mean, the KIDS kids?  Chia and her gang?

 

Stretch looked at the message with surprise.  How…there were ninety seven spider babies running around, and Undyne had managed to guess the exact one?  Were _all_ of them named Chia or something?

 

 _skelepun1000:_ Chia, yeah.  Wow, how did you guess?

 _sciencefish95:_ Well, duh.  Anyone who sees those kids sees her first.  She's the new clan leader.

 

Stretch stared at the line of text on the screen, chest tightening as he read, then re-read it.  The…the new…oh boy.   Muffet had been the clan leader too.  Well, sort of.  She’d tried to step down, but she couldn't, not really.  The clan leaders were born, not made. And now the little Muffet clone was…

Stretch started when his computer pinged again.

 

 _sciencefish95_ : Hey, I have an idea.  Mind if I join you when you go visit them later today?  It’d be great to see you.  Your bro told me you were alive, but it’s always nice to verify, lol.  Proof of life, right?

 

Stretch laughed a little, chest loosening as he re-read the offer.  As awkward as it would be to see Undyne in person after months of avoiding her, it would be better than going into this ‘visit’ with no one but his brother.  Blue meant well, but Stretch wasn’t sure that he really understood what he was going through sometimes.  Heck, Stretch didn’t always understand it himself.  Undyne was different though.  She'd been to some dark places herself, she could sympathize.

 

 _skelepun1000:_ Yeah, sure.  We’re going at 3.  Blue said somewhere in the capitol?  IDK where…

 _sciencefish95:_ Sweet, yeah, I know the place.  See you there!  Gtg, bye!

_sciencefish95 is offline._

 

Stretch fell back onto his bed with a muffled groan.  Despite Undyne’s offer, a really, REALLY loud part of him still wanted to just cancel everything and hide in the basement with the mystery machine for the rest of the day.  It would be a heck of a lot easier than dealing with all of _this_.  Turning over on his side, Stretch stared numbly at the wall, not really focusing on anything.  He felt completely drained, like he’d spent the last half hour hour crying instead of sitting in front of a computer.  This goddamn visit was going to kill him. 

Calmly, he pulled a pillow close to his chest, buried his face against the cotton pillowcase, and screamed.

“Huh,” he muttered to himself, feeling vaguely stupid.  Blue had sworn to him several times screaming into pillows was the absolute best way to relieve stress.  Oh Blue…

Even if everything went horribly, Blue had _promised_ that Stretch could leave whenever he wanted to.  Stretch took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out.  The knowledge that he wasn’t going to be trapped in the capitol with the kids he'd been forced to give birth to was immensely calming.  He wouldn’t have to stay if he didn’t want to.  Blue kept his promises…

Stretch yawned, pulled the paperclip out of his mouth, then idly twirled it between his fingers.  It wouldn’t be a bad idea to catch a nap beforehand…not now that his body was finally being obliging and letting him feel sleepy…

===

_Stretch stumbled through the darkness, unable to see where he was going.  The pitch of the ground seemed to be getting steeper as he ran, until he could barely move forward on his hands and knees.  He was gasping for breath and shaking with terror._

_“Oh dear.  You said you would help me.”_

_“LEAVE ME ALONE!” Stretch sobbed, curling into a ball.  If he didn’t move, maybe she would go away, maybe-_

_“Shhh,” came the reply as long, slender black legs began to pull his arms and legs away from his body.  “This will be so much easier if you just relax and let it happen.”_

_“No, no, NOOOO!” Stretch shrieked as his shoulders were roughly twisted past their limit and the joints separated with a sick pop that reverberated through his collarbones and scapula._

_“No one is coming to save you.  No one is even looking for you.”_

_The voice wasn’t Muffet’s.  It was quiet and high pitched, like a child, but the tone was wrong.  Serious, cold, and bitterly cynical._

_“No one even cares that you’re gone.”_

_Stretch whimpered as his legs gave with that same, bone-chilling pop, sending a sharp thrum through his hip sockets like a plucked guitar string._

_“And now you’re all alone.”_

_“And nobody is coming to save you.”_

===

Stretch woke slowly, groaning as he sat up and looked around with a disoriented grimace.  Nightmares…the one where he got dismembered by giant, black spider legs was definitely his favourite.  The kids voice was a neat addition.  More anxiety around children was definitely something that he wanted in his life right now.  Ugh, what time was it?  What was he doing?  He’d had something planned…

Oh crap.

Stretch snatched up his phone, flipped it open to check the time, then fell back onto his pillows with a relieved sigh.  2:45 PM.  He hadn’t missed it.

But he _had_ drooled all over his pillows in his sleep.  Gross…

Groggily, Stretch staggered into the bathroom and wet the corner of a towel to wipe down his face.  The cool water helped wake him up a bit and eased the new ache in his jaw and molars.  Ugh, he’d been grinding his teeth too?  God, it felt like he’d tried to eat a rock…

The front door swung open with an enthusiastic bang that, even from the bathroom, sounded overwhelmingly positive and full of bubbly cheer.  Stretch groaned and pulled the towel miserably over his head.  Was hiding still an option?  He felt like it should still be an option.

 “Brother, I’m back!”  Blue called joyfully from downstairs.  “Are you ready to go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaiii...it's super late and I'm super loopy XD
> 
> Figured Stretch would gravitate toward chewing on weird objects now that lollipops are full of horrible memories and cigarettes are too stressful to get ahold of at the moment. Don't let him near your pens and pencils, they'll come back full of teeth marks...
> 
> Also, I need to find a better way to format these darn IM entries, ugh, gross, so messy...


	4. Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing is ever as easy as it looks, goddangit...

Stretch was NOT ready to go, a fact that quickly became obvious as the ache in his jaw slowly traveled down the side of his neck and up into his temple.  By the time they’d stepped off the ferry, it had morphed into a low-grade headache, making his neck feel stiff and hard to turn.

“Almost there!” Blue beamed, bouncing with every step.  Stretch took a shaky breath, then anxiously kneaded his shoulder.  His fingers brushed over a set of shallow pock-marks in the scapula, and the bone suddenly throbbed.  Grinding his sore teeth, he crossed his arms and pressed them tightly against his sides, trying to focus on the path in front of him.  The scars where Muffet had bitten him often prickled or itched, but they hadn’t hurt like this for a couple weeks now.  He’d kind of hoped that they’d stopped bothering him for good.

“Here we are!” Blue chirped, then came to a stop.

The home was a modest one on the outskirts of the capitol, with yellow-trimmed windows, a tiny porch, and an astonishing number of toys and random objects strewn across the cobblestone yard.  Stretch felt a little surprised at how…ordinary, it all looked.  He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but two half-dressed dolls lying next to a plastic teapot and half a dozen empty cups hadn’t made it into his imaginings.  It was loud too, with the distant sounds of traffic and city work making a constant, background rumble-

A chorus of muffled giggles came from the house.  Stretch started, then looked up just in time to see a flash of blue flit past one of the windows, leaving the curtain swinging gently behind the glass.

Stretch took a deep breath, held it for a moment, then let it out.  Just an hour.  He could make it for an hour, if it would make his brother happy.  He could do this…

Blue knocked on the door, and the giggles got louder.  Stretch tucked his arms harder against his sides, fighting down the sudden desire to bolt.

“Come on in, I’ll be there in a moment!” someone called from inside, “Please excuse the mess, just push things aside if they’re in the way.”

The foyer matched the front yard, strewn with an assortment of tiny shoes, socks and coats.  Blue took two steps inside, hesitated, then quickly began to pick up the mess littering the floor.

“You don’t have to _clean_ for them, bro,” Stretch hissed, standing awkwardly on the doorstep.

“But it’s so disorganized,” Blue murmured back, sorting the shoes into neat pairs.  “It’s ok to help out!”

“Stop it!  It’s not your house,” Stretch insisted.

“But it looks so much better now…”

“Hello!” A friendly voice said from the front door.  “I’m Shelly, and you must be Papyrus?”

“Hello,” Papyrus said, pushing his discomfort aside in favour of a polite smile.  It became a bit more genuine when he actually saw the speaker - an elderly crab monster with six jointed legs, a flower-print apron, and a pair of comically large spectacles over a good-natured face.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

"Likewise," the other monster beamed.  "Please come on in out of the heat, the little ones are around here somewhere..." a little giggle came from behind the door and Shelly looked down with exaggerated surprise.  “Ah!  There you are.  What are you doing back there, you silly seahorse?”

“I’M NOT A SEAHORSE!!” came the giggled reply.

“Silly snail?” the crab monster tried again with a grin.

“NOT A SNAIL!”

“Well miss ‘not a snail,’ are you going to come out and say hi?”

“NO!”

“Well, we are going to come in.  Just to warn you.”

“NOOOOO!” The little voice squealed, followed by a rapid pattering as something small bolted from the room.  Shelly chortled, then turned back to Stretch and Blue.  “Make yourselves at home.  Can I get you anything?   Water after that trip through Hotland?”

Stretch mutely shook his head and Blue chuckled “No, but thank you,” as he stepped out of his boots. “Sorry again for the short notice!”

“Oh, it’s no trouble.  I love company,” the older monster told him kindly, legs clicking on the linoleum floor as they walked out of the room.  Stretch hesitated, wondering if he should take his shoes off too.  He wanted to keep them, and Blue hadn’t seemed to notice…

Quietly, Stretch left his shoes on and followed his brother into the living room.  His anxiety eased a little as he took in his surroundings.  Shelly's house was so…cozy?  Stretch had never found himself wanting to apply that word to a place before, but the warm, butter-yellow paint, mismatched furniture, and slightly crooked pictures on the walls all seemed to fit the term so well.

“…and of course they talk about YOU all the time,” Shelly was chuckling, settling themselves over a plaid ottoman with a little groan.  “Not YOU you, if you get my meaning.  More like an idea of you?”

Blue sat on a couch across from the crab monster.  Stretch started to follow, then froze, staring at a faded, purple quilt draped across the back.

“But it’s something I’ve heard quite a bit from my older kids.  They just want a parent, you know?  And at that age, their imaginations often get…are you all right dear?”

Stretch jumped, swallowed hard, then gingerly sat on the edge of the couch next to Blue, very carefully NOT leaning back against the quilt.  “Good!  I’m fine.  Just fine, thank you,” he squeaked.  Shelly gave him a confused look and was about to say something when a strident knock came from the front door.

“Oh!  That must be Undyne.  How wonderful, I _do_ love having so many guests!” they hummed, scuttling off to answer the door.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Blue whispered as soon as the other monster was out of earshot.

“I’m fine,” Stretch whispered back, a little more sharply that he’d intended.  This couldn’t be the same quilt, there was no way those stains would ever have come out.  Shelly just happened to have a nice, purple quilt…

That looked like it had been washed in bleach about fifteen times…

“Stretch!” Undyne crowed from the doorway.  “God, it’s been FOREVER man!”

“Hi-“ Stretch broke off with a squeak as she wrapped him in a massive hug-

_Now now dearie.  You promised you would help me-_

-And then immediately dropped him back onto the couch with a huge grin.   Stretch shivered as his shoulder suddenly throbbed and an icy cramp shot through his ribs and down into his hip joint.  Unbidden, cold sweat began to drip down his sides, falling between his ribs with an embarrassing tickle that made him miserably glad that he was wearing four layers.  Otherwise he’d probably have sweated right through his clothes by now.

“…been checking up on them every month or so.  I tried to tell Toriel that I’m not a pediatrician, but you know how she gets,” Undyne groaned as she flopped down into an armchair with a grimace.

“And you have been doing very well,” Shelly told her severely, pushing the scientist’s feet off an end table and setting a plate of cookies and a glass of water in their place.  “Now eat up, you look skinnier every time I see you, young lady.”

“SWEET,” Undyne groaned, grabbing the glass and gulping it down.

“Do you have a bathroom?” Stretch finally managed to squeak, “Please?”

“Of course.  Down the hall, first door on your right,” Shelly said, looking at him with sudden concern.  “Think you can find it ok?”

“Yes!   Yes, I’m fine.  Thank you!” Stretch gasped through an uneasy grin.  Trying to ignore Undyne’s confused look, he stood, carefully squeezed past Shelly and his brother, then all but bolted out of the room.

“HIIIIDE!!!,” a little voice squealed as he walked down the hall.  Stretch looked down, just in time to see Chia trying to tug a child-sized spider into a room by its front legs.  The little monster chittered at her, easily standing its ground as it looked up at Stretch with large, black eyes.

“NO JO-JO!  HE NEEDS SPACE, REMEMBER?” Chia screeched at top volume, leaning back as she tried to pull her sibling away.  Jo-jo gave her an irritated huff, then let his sister yank him into the room and slam the door closed behind them.

“Heh,” Stretch laughed hoarsely, then ducked into the bathroom and locked the door.

“Ooohhh-kay…” he groaned, leaning over the sink.  Holy hell, his shoulder was killing him. It hadn’t been this bad since he’d gotten out of the hospital.   Shakily, he lifted his arm over his head, then winced as a sharp prickle shot down the back of his humerus and into his elbow.  With a small whimper, he let it fall to his side, holding it close as he pressed his forehead into the cool countertop.  Just a minute.  He’d just take a minute to let his shoulder get less intense and then…

“ _S-shit_ ,” he whispered, feeling tears pricking at the corners of his eyesockets.  He didn’t want to go back there.  He just wanted to go home and hide, even though he SHOULD try to stick things out...

As though responding to the thought, his shoulder throbbed sharply, drawing a thin whimper from his throat as the pain spiked, then settled uneasily.  Numbly, Stretch picked up his phone and looked at the screen.  Blue was going to be disappointed, but...if staying was _literally_ making him feel sick...

_Not feeling well, going to head home.  Tell Shelly and Undyne sorry for me,_  he typed, then faltered with his finger over 'send.'  After a moment, he closed his eyes, tucked his phone back into his pocket, and unlocked the door.   He’d send the text when he got out, just in case…

Stretch didn’t finish that thought, quietly walking back down the hall to the foyer.  He felt even guiltier as Undyne's strident voice broke over the low burble of voices from the living room, hesitating at the doorway with one hand on the doorknob.  He hadn't seen her in months, and now...

His shoulder throbbed again and he whimpered, trying not to clench his already-sore teeth.  Fighting down the desire to throw up, he stepped outside, pulled out his phone, and hit send.  Without waiting to see how Blue would respond, he miserably staggered off, pulling up his hood to hide his face as he made his way back to Snowdin.

===

Chia peeked out from behind the door as Stretch left the bathroom, careful to keep the door open just a crack.  Shelly had told her that he was an un-hug sort of monster, and that was important to remember.  Un-hug monsters liked personal space, and personal space was when you took your arms and made a circle around yourself to keep other people out.   The problem was that _his_ personal-space arms were HUUUUGGGEEEEE, almost bigger than the whole hallway.  So she had to be very careful, or else she might accidentally get too close.

Jo-jo grumbled, then chittered that they were going to miss all of the cookies if they stayed here much longer.  Chia considered that, carefully leaning out of hiding as her zizi left the bathroom and walked into the foyer.  When he didn’t immediately come out, she shrieked "RUN!!", then threw the door open and sprinted for the living room.  Jo-Jo squeaked happily, staying right behind her as they zipped down the hall and skidded around the corner.

“Oof!” Shelly grunted as Chia ran full-tilt into one of their legs and wrapped all six of her arms around it.  “There you are sweetie.  Are your brothers and sisters up from their nap?”

“Just Jo-jo,” she said, pointing.  “And he’s being shy!”

Jo-jo looked up from the serving plate, a cookie the size of his face clasped between his front legs.  Undyne snorted as he crawled up onto the couch next to Blue and began nibbling at the treat with a contented squeak.

“Shy?  How is he being shy?”  Shelly asked with a smile.

“He just _is_ ,” Chia huffed, as though this should be obvious.

“He looks ok to me.” Undyne snickered.  “Hey Jo-jo, are you feeling shy buddy?”

Jo-jo licked the crumbs off of his legs, then looked up at Blue with an inquisitive chitter.

“He says you smell like zizi,” Chia automatically translated.

“Zizi?” Blue asked, looking between Chia and her brother.

“That’s what we’ve been calling Stretch,” Shelly explained, readjusting their legs as Chia climbed into their lap.  “It’s like saying ‘mommy,’ or ‘daddy,’ but it’s a little more general.”

Jo-jo chittered again, and gave Chia a pleading look.

“He wants to know if you’re un-hug like zizi,” Chia explained, giving Blue a critical stare.  He didn’t look like an un-hug monster, but then, zizi didn’t either.  Zizi looked very huggable, even though he had big personal-space arms.

“Un-hug? No, I like hugs-” Blue began, then broke off when Jo-jo promptly crawled into his lap, folded his legs, and snuggled happily into his shirt.  Undyne immediately broke down into laughter and Shelly gave him an apologetic smile.

“Oh my god, you must really smell like Stretch,” Undyne finally gasped, wiping tears out of her eyes.  “You’ll never get him off now.”

“I …I smell like him?” Blue said, looking vaguely insulted and extremely confused.

“Yeah,” Undyne continued, looking more serious now.  “That’s usually how it works.  Spider moms make so many babies that the magic drain takes them down pretty fast, so their kids adapted to be more attracted to their surrog- to their zizis,” Undyne corrected herself with a guilty glance at Chia, “than to their other parents.  It’s a comfort thing.”

“Oh,” Blue said, looking down at the little spider in his lap as Undyne continued.

“It’s super fascinating, actually, because in THIS case, Muffet made SO MANY kids that they didn’t get this initial burst of magic that’s supposed to help them grow.  That’s why they’re all so tiny-“

“NOT TINY!” Chia shrieked, one set of hands placed petulantly on her hips.

“Just a little tiny,” Undyne grinned as Chia pouted.  “Besides, clan leaders don’t need to be big, remember?  Tiny but mighty.”

“That’s DUMB.” Chia grumbled, wiggling off of Shelly’s lap to grab a cookie.   “Being clan leader is STUPID.  I wanna be tall instead.”

“Clan leader?” Blue asked, looking between Chia and Jo-jo.  “She’s the clan leader?  But…isn’t she a bit young?”

“It’s a position you’re born into,” Shelly said, gently picking Chia up in one, giant claw and settling her back in their lap.  “Age isn't a factor.”

“And it's not something you really get a choice about.  Stretch ought to know about that, since Muffet was technically the last one,” Undyne said, then glanced toward the bathroom.  “Jeez, he’s been in there forever.  Is he ok?  Was it something I said?”

“He left,” Chia casually informed her.

“Left?!" Blue gasped, fumbling for his phone.  He'd felt it vibrate earlier, but he hadn't thought...  "You mean, left the house?”

“Yep,” Chia affirmed.

“Oh boy," he groaned, then looked over the message with concern. "Not feeling well?"  Gently, he transferred Jo-jo to the couch and stood.  "I need to go check on him.  Thank you for your hospitality!” he said, hurrying to the door.

"My pleasure," Shelly called after him, "Come again any time."

                                                              ===

Stretch sat curled up in a corner of the basement, staring at the machine and the tools surrounding it.  He didn’t feel mad, or even especially unhappy.  Just…

Just tired.  Tired, numb, and like everything was too difficult to bother with.  It was weird because when he took a mental step back and looked at everything he was dealing with, it didn’t seem that bad.  Some light depression, some anxiety that he was taking medication for, and only a week of memories that he should have been able to deal with by now.  But like the snow covering the trees outside of town, he hadn’t realized how much those seemingly small problems really weighed him down, and now...

_Worthless.  Unlikable.  Alone._

Maybe the voice behind the door had been right and he just needed more time to heal, but Stretch was sick of waiting for things to ‘get better.’  There was no guarantee that they would, and when it really came down to it, he wasn’t sure that he wanted to keep trying. 

It was just...too...hard.

“Brother? Are you down here?” came Blue’s voice from the top of the stairs.   Stretch curled more tightly into himself and didn’t respond.  He’d left the lights off, so maybe Blue would just…

Blue came down the stairs and quickly spotted him in the corner.  He hesitated for a moment, then went and sat down against the wall nearby.

“Are you ok?” he asked after a short silence.

“No.” Stretch choked, then furiously wiped at his eyesockets as another round of tears began to drip down his face.  “I’m…" he broke off, then sniffed hard.  "D-do you think I’m worthless?”

Blue looked shocked.  “No, of course not!  Where did you get that idea?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Stretch sobbed, then buried his face in his arms with a miserable wail.  He felt Blue tentatively put a hand on his back and leaned into it, chest heaving with messy, wracking sobs.  “I d-don’t w-want to disappoint you, but it h-hurts!  It hurt s-so much and all I can think about is _her_.  It hurt, and I TOLD her to stop, but she d-didn’t stop!  She just kept telling me t-that I was making it harder on myself whenever I tried to make her stop AND IT WAS SO, **F-FUCKING** **HARD** **TO KEEP G-GOING** -“

Stretch broke down with an incoherent wail and buried his face in the front of Blue’s shirt.  Blue immediately pulled him close, pressing his chin to the top of his head and saying nothing while Stretch cried himself out.

“I’m not disappointed,” Blue finally murmured after he'd calmed down a little.  “And I definitely don’t think that you’re worthless.  Do you know what I did when I found out you were missing?”

Stretch shook his head, and Blue gave his arm a gentle squeeze before continuing.  “Alphys didn’t believe me at first.  She wanted me to wait at least a day, but I didn’t listen to her.  I started going up to every monster I could find, asking ‘HAVE YOU SEEN MY BROTHER?!  HE’S ABOUT THIS TALL, USUALLY LOOKS SLEEPY AND WEARS THESE AWFUL ORANGE SWEATSHIRTS THAT HE NEVER WASHES?  NO??  YOU HAVEN'T??  WELL HOW ABOUT YOU???”

Stretch laughed a little, face still pressed into Blue’s ribs.

“And then when I didn’t find you that day, I stayed up all night to keep looking.  And the next day, and the next night, and the day after that.  Alphys finally told me that she was going to shoot me with a sleeping dart if I didn’t go to bed.  I made her promise that she would keep looking for you if I did.”

Blue went silent for a long moment, then continued in a strained tone.

“And then when we finally found you, I was so relieved and so, _so_ scared at the same time.  You were hurting so much, and I…” Blue broke off with a hard swallow.   “That’s the hardest thing I’ve ever watched, and the entire time I was terrified that you weren’t going to make it and there would be nothing t-that I could do...”

Blue voice broke, and he hugged Stretch a little more tightly.

“I love you so much.  So don’t you _dare_ think that you’re worthless, because you mean _everything_ to me.”

Blue went silent, and Stretch took a deep, shuddering sigh.

“I-it just takes s-so long,” Stretch finally whispered.  “T-to get better.”

The phrase was still daunting, but sitting here, exhausted from crying and listening to the gentle rise and fall of Blue's ribs, it seemed...difficult.  Still difficult, but not completely overwhelming. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Blue replied softly, giving his shoulders a little squeeze.  “Take all the time you need, brother.  You're worth it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I left things with Chia kind of open-ended, but I think I'm going to cut this one here. Thanks to everyone who stuck this series out to the end, you all are awesome ^_^

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaand the continuation (supposed-to-be-one-shot) of Messy Parlour begins. I've given up trying to write short stuff for this AU, these ideas were just not made for short-and-sweet.


End file.
